Father’s Day Style Lesson
Fathers are many things, but â€śstylishâ€ť is typically not one of them. Dads tend to cherish function over form, comfort over good taste, now kindly get off his lawn.
Welcome to Fatherâ€™s Day 2012, where it is ourÂ dutyÂ as sons and daughters to gently nudge his fashion sense out of the Cold War Era. The following is a good start; it is a list of the most common fashion problems our fathers endure, and a potential solution thereto.
The Problem:Â The dreaded floral patterned, Hawaii-inspired button-down shirt, worn strictly for his more outdoorsy summer â€śformalâ€ť occasions â€” like barbecues â€¦ or other,Â differentÂ barbecues. Our dads are wearing these and murdering everyoneâ€™s eyeballs for no good reason at all, other than he really has nothing else to wear. Unacceptable.
The Solution:Â The casual button-up shirt, with its clean and classic look and, as an ADDED bonus, a total lack of gaudy parrots sitting atop a neon-yellow hibiscus plant beneath an Oahu sunset! Thank us later, dad â€” because no more barbecues will get needlessly ruined. By your terrible shirt.
The Problem:Â His plain, tattered, colorless dress-shirts that require hours of manual labor and ironing and starching to make them look evenÂ semi-respectable, just like in olden-timesÂ â€”Â Â when all people did was iron clothes and worry about polio.
The Solution:Â Hit up dad withÂ a Lux Sateen dress shirt, which yes, is supremely better because of its colors â€¦ and SUPER-DOUBLE-SUPREMELY better because dad can just throw it in the dryer and have it pop outÂ wrinkle-free, just like in modern times!
The Problem:Â A belt holster for his mobile phone.
The Solution:Â Throw the belt holster into the fire pit and never speak of it again, the end.
The Problem:Â Jean-shorts. Or â€śjorts,â€ť if you will. From what I can gather, sometime in the mid-80â€™s, the jorts fad ran strong for three or four weeks â€” and then disappeared forever, end of story, right? WRONG. Because our dads LOVE jorts to this very day. Heâ€™ll pair them with some socks and river shoes and he is ready to goÂ anywhere, much to his familyâ€™s horror.
The Solution:Â SomeÂ madras shorts. Not only are they classic-looking and versatile, but perhaps most importantly toÂ us, they are NOT made of denim. And frankly, when it comes to our dads, isnâ€™t that all that really matters? You bet it is.
Indeed, fathersÂ areÂ many things, and â€śa good sportâ€ť is usually one of them. We mock their outdated fashion sense because we love them, and in the end, that itâ€™s only theirÂ clothesÂ weâ€™re wanting to change about them speaks volumes. Happy Fatherâ€™s Day, dad.